Today my youngest brother is getting married. Over the last several months, since their engagement, I've struggled to understand my emotions about all of this.
On the one hand, I acknowledge that it is a part of life and it is God-ordained. But on another I'm upset about it, and I don't really know why. Maybe because I'm still single, maybe because it feels like I'm losing him (although I'm not really - on the contrary; I'm gaining a sister!).
I spent some time in prayer last night, on and off. The following passages of Scripture came to mind:
"Jesus replied, Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." (Matt. 19:11-12)
I remember coming across this passage in my 'teens, and thinking even then that somehow it applied to me. Then here is another one:
"I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion...
"Nevertheless, each one whould retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him...
"Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgement as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are...
"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." (1 Cor. 7:1-2, 7-9, 17, 25-26, 32-35)
This whole chapter is relevant, but I've highlighted above the verse that is for me at the present time.
I've known God my entire life. I've known how much He loves me since I can remember anything. I've grown into a fuller and fuller understanding of just what that means, and I'm almost ashamed to think that any human love I might receive could ever compare with that.
For sure, there are great benefits to marriage. It's God's invention for creating families and sharing His love between each other. He said Himself, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him" (Gen. 2:18).
But at this stage in my life, with so many opportunities to travel for work, and so little time to spare, being single does enable me to use that time in God's service and to spend time in prayer and studying the Bible. I'm not alone, because He is with me all the time. He may not be visible, but He's there.
I've already found the love of my life. And some day I will be His bride (2 Cor. 11:2, Rev. 19:7-8).
"I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." (Isa 61:10)
Anyway today is not about me. It's about Stu and Nicola and the rest of their life. Congratulations and wishing you all the best.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Planning the next few months
January has been rather quiet, which is just as well since I will be travelling for most of February and March. 2 conferences, 2 trips to the US, 1 trip to Melbourne, and hosting an overseas visitor for a week who wants to do the Tongariro Northern Circuit.
Oh and Stu's wedding is just before all that.
And then in April is Trailwalker.
I'm going to be busy.
Oh and Stu's wedding is just before all that.
And then in April is Trailwalker.
I'm going to be busy.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Happy New Year 2010!
A big hello to all of you in cyber-world reading this. As is my habit, yesterday I spent a bit of time reflecting on 2009, which naturally led to thinking about 2010. Perhaps the scariest thought is that I'll be 30 this year. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, and try not to feel old in the meantime!
One of the things for this year is that I feel like I have a new lease on life church-wise. I was recently stood down from all ministry activities in the church I have been attending for the last 2 1/2 years, and it gave me time to reflect. In the end I realised that I didn't agree with the governance structure (or at least, their interpretation of it) and I've decided to move on and start a new chapter. There are pretty slim pickings for standard Sunday churches around here, but not to worry because I'm part of a home fellowship group that meets every Friday. I've prayed a lot about this and I really feel that God is going to do something awesome through that group. Now I'm just praying that He will give somebody in it the vision that He wants to achieve. I am also beginning to realise how I've been stuck in a spiritual rut for the last few years, so it's all quite exciting really.
Other things coming up in the near future, I'm going to be involved in writing a significant chunk of a major ($2.4m) funding bid at work, which is a big responsibility. On another note there's Stu and Nicola's wedding at the end of January, and on another is the Trailwalker in April. Finally, about the only thing I would count as a new year's resolution would be to visit a friend in Perth sometime this year.
One of the things for this year is that I feel like I have a new lease on life church-wise. I was recently stood down from all ministry activities in the church I have been attending for the last 2 1/2 years, and it gave me time to reflect. In the end I realised that I didn't agree with the governance structure (or at least, their interpretation of it) and I've decided to move on and start a new chapter. There are pretty slim pickings for standard Sunday churches around here, but not to worry because I'm part of a home fellowship group that meets every Friday. I've prayed a lot about this and I really feel that God is going to do something awesome through that group. Now I'm just praying that He will give somebody in it the vision that He wants to achieve. I am also beginning to realise how I've been stuck in a spiritual rut for the last few years, so it's all quite exciting really.
Other things coming up in the near future, I'm going to be involved in writing a significant chunk of a major ($2.4m) funding bid at work, which is a big responsibility. On another note there's Stu and Nicola's wedding at the end of January, and on another is the Trailwalker in April. Finally, about the only thing I would count as a new year's resolution would be to visit a friend in Perth sometime this year.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Talking about things of which I know very little
My final trip for the year was to the Australian Neutron Scattering symposium in Sydney earlier this month. I'd been invited to speak for half an hour on something. At first I wondered if they'd contacted the right person, because I've never done any experiments involving neutrons in my life (discounting some data that was collected during my PhD on some of my samples, that we couldn't make head nor tail of). But sure enough, they wanted me.
Over the last 4 years or so I've been working on a computer program that would be of interest to both the neutron and x-ray user communities (as well as being quite useful), so I opted to talk on that. I managed to get a reasonably stable version of the program ready for uploading to the IRL website before the Tekapo trip, and I prepared the talk at the same time. However I didn't have time to practise it until I arrived in Sydney. Just as well my presentation time had been scheduled for the last day. After having about 5 practise runs, I managed to get through it in the right amount of time without too many 'um's or 'don't say that you idiot's. On the day it all went down rather well which was a relief. Getting invited to speak at meetings is a big deal and it looks good on one's CV.
From here on it's just a matter of winding down to the end of the year. This week has been quite productive; next week in between the various Christmas functions I hope to be able to tidy off a lot of loose ends.
In case I don't find the time to write here again before Christmas (or in case you don't have the time to read) let me finish by wishing you all a merry Christmas and happy new year.
A picture of my house; although anyone living locally should really drive past as photos taken at night seldom do justice!
Over the last 4 years or so I've been working on a computer program that would be of interest to both the neutron and x-ray user communities (as well as being quite useful), so I opted to talk on that. I managed to get a reasonably stable version of the program ready for uploading to the IRL website before the Tekapo trip, and I prepared the talk at the same time. However I didn't have time to practise it until I arrived in Sydney. Just as well my presentation time had been scheduled for the last day. After having about 5 practise runs, I managed to get through it in the right amount of time without too many 'um's or 'don't say that you idiot's. On the day it all went down rather well which was a relief. Getting invited to speak at meetings is a big deal and it looks good on one's CV.
From here on it's just a matter of winding down to the end of the year. This week has been quite productive; next week in between the various Christmas functions I hope to be able to tidy off a lot of loose ends.
In case I don't find the time to write here again before Christmas (or in case you don't have the time to read) let me finish by wishing you all a merry Christmas and happy new year.
A picture of my house; although anyone living locally should really drive past as photos taken at night seldom do justice!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
A weekend in Tekapo
Last weekend saw a bunch of us from work start the long drive to Tekapo for the 6th annual get-together of the three major nanoparticle research groups in NZ (from IRL, Vic and Canterbury) on Monday & Tuesday. The IRL lot decided to drive down on Saturday and do some short walks on the way; which we did despite the weather trying to put us off.
The week before I had been tied up with part 2 of a 'leadership development course' at work so had to put in some long hours at the end of each day to get my Tekapo presentations ready. In the end it all came off really well and sparked some quite fruitful discussion. Now I just have to find the time to pursue things...
On both afternoons we drove to Mt Cook village and did some walking: Monday to the Hooker glacier lake and Tuesday up the steep climb to Sealy Tarns. A picture says a thousand words so I will leave you with the following offerings.
Hooker glacier lake, Mt Cook hiding behind the clouds.
View from Sealy Tarns towards Mt Sefton.
The week before I had been tied up with part 2 of a 'leadership development course' at work so had to put in some long hours at the end of each day to get my Tekapo presentations ready. In the end it all came off really well and sparked some quite fruitful discussion. Now I just have to find the time to pursue things...
On both afternoons we drove to Mt Cook village and did some walking: Monday to the Hooker glacier lake and Tuesday up the steep climb to Sealy Tarns. A picture says a thousand words so I will leave you with the following offerings.
Hooker glacier lake, Mt Cook hiding behind the clouds.
View from Sealy Tarns towards Mt Sefton.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Training for Trailwalker
Back in April I helped out as support crew for my friend Christina's Trailwalker team (you might remember this). I said then that I'd be willing to do the walking next year. So our team is now registered and I have started training. Incidentally this coincides with a 'walking programme' IRL is doing for 6 weeks from now until Christmas, where teams of four combine how many steps they do each day (measured by an oh-so-accurate pedometer) and see how far down the length of the country they can get. Some people seem to be taking it really competitively; I think our team is just interested in seeing just how many steps we do take on an average day. (For example, just pottering around home, driving to work, pottering around there gets me about 5000 - that's without going for a walk at lunch time as we normally do, or playing sport, or going for a run when I get home.)
So most days I will go for a walk or play soccer at lunchtime, and if I'm feeling energetic when I get home and have time to, I'll go for a run. Anyway on Thursday I walked to work, and back home, 7 km each way. It's a start for the 100 km and if I learnt anything from watching people last Trailwalker, the key to completing it is how much training you do.
You can donate to our team here. If everyone I knew donated just $5 it would see my share covered...
So most days I will go for a walk or play soccer at lunchtime, and if I'm feeling energetic when I get home and have time to, I'll go for a run. Anyway on Thursday I walked to work, and back home, 7 km each way. It's a start for the 100 km and if I learnt anything from watching people last Trailwalker, the key to completing it is how much training you do.
You can donate to our team here. If everyone I knew donated just $5 it would see my share covered...
Monday, November 2, 2009
I've been a slacker... and I've been to Melbourne
Sorry to all the regulars out there for not having written anything for *gasp* over a month - I sort of feel like there hasn't been much that's happened lately that's of interest. But then maybe what I think is dull other people think is interesting? Let me know, write a comment!
So since I got back, let's see. Had a few weeks at work catching up on things and getting back into the groove. About 2 weeks went by before I realised, heck, I'm going to Melbourne in two weeks and I'm not prepared! Anyway everything came together in the end, but it did give me a bit of a shock. The same is true now - I go back in another 2 weeks or so and there is a lot that needs preparing beforehand; hopefully I can do it in time.
In addition to the above I went on a 'leadership development programme' at work after being encouraged to by my boss. It was one of those things where you put eight strangers in a room and give them some information and tell them to come up with an answer. They psychoanalyse you and report back at the end of the week with their observations. Apparently I am 'empathetic' yet 'intolerant' (no surprises to the latter, but the former??), have 'clear leadership potential' but I don't 'understand how the company functions'. I'm still seeing it as just a box that needs ticking to get people off my back about going. The trouble is we have a part 2 coming up in between me getting back from Melbourne next time, and a group meeting down in Tekapo, which gives me no time to prepare for a neutron scattering symposium in Sydney the week after that! (Ok so maybe my life is not as boring as I think.)
So, the most recent trip. There were two experiments I was involved with this time. The first was looking at the melting behaviour of small In particles: members of our group who do computer modelling 'found' some interesting behaviour when the particle size is below a certain value, so we are trying to prove it experimentally. We have tried various experiments 3 or 4 times before, and these ones actually worked, which is great.
The second was helping some students from Imperial College who were looking at small-angle x-ray scattering of gold particles as they stick together through connector molecules and then when an enzyme is added, how they redisperse. Don't ask me what it's actually useful for.
While we were doing the first experiments, they were setting up for their annual open day that weekend. We had a bit of fun with the pedestrian fencing that surrounded our beamline.
So since I got back, let's see. Had a few weeks at work catching up on things and getting back into the groove. About 2 weeks went by before I realised, heck, I'm going to Melbourne in two weeks and I'm not prepared! Anyway everything came together in the end, but it did give me a bit of a shock. The same is true now - I go back in another 2 weeks or so and there is a lot that needs preparing beforehand; hopefully I can do it in time.
In addition to the above I went on a 'leadership development programme' at work after being encouraged to by my boss. It was one of those things where you put eight strangers in a room and give them some information and tell them to come up with an answer. They psychoanalyse you and report back at the end of the week with their observations. Apparently I am 'empathetic' yet 'intolerant' (no surprises to the latter, but the former??), have 'clear leadership potential' but I don't 'understand how the company functions'. I'm still seeing it as just a box that needs ticking to get people off my back about going. The trouble is we have a part 2 coming up in between me getting back from Melbourne next time, and a group meeting down in Tekapo, which gives me no time to prepare for a neutron scattering symposium in Sydney the week after that! (Ok so maybe my life is not as boring as I think.)
So, the most recent trip. There were two experiments I was involved with this time. The first was looking at the melting behaviour of small In particles: members of our group who do computer modelling 'found' some interesting behaviour when the particle size is below a certain value, so we are trying to prove it experimentally. We have tried various experiments 3 or 4 times before, and these ones actually worked, which is great.
The second was helping some students from Imperial College who were looking at small-angle x-ray scattering of gold particles as they stick together through connector molecules and then when an enzyme is added, how they redisperse. Don't ask me what it's actually useful for.
While we were doing the first experiments, they were setting up for their annual open day that weekend. We had a bit of fun with the pedestrian fencing that surrounded our beamline.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Recapping the trip
(To read a day-by-day account from the start, click here.)
Highlights of the trip:
The view of the Edinburgh city skyline from the visitor information centre
Kelvingrove museum, Glasgow
Rock of Cashel, Ireland
Getting upgraded from Singapore to Sydney coming home
Lowlights:
Losing a wallet
Hotel in Cardiff
American tourists, especially noticeable at Blarney Castle
Weather in Dublin (a shame since there was so much to see that we missed out on)
Highlights of the trip:
The view of the Edinburgh city skyline from the visitor information centre
Kelvingrove museum, Glasgow
Rock of Cashel, Ireland
Getting upgraded from Singapore to Sydney coming home
Lowlights:
Losing a wallet
Hotel in Cardiff
American tourists, especially noticeable at Blarney Castle
Weather in Dublin (a shame since there was so much to see that we missed out on)
8 September
London - home
The weather forecast was for a hot day in London, but it wasn’t as bad as expected. We headed for South Kensington where I had arranged to meet up with some colleagues at Imperial College while Mum looked around the museums. Both of us had quite a productive time it would seem!
From there it was on to Heathrow and then the long flight home. On the Singapore – Sydney leg we found we had somehow been upgraded to premium economy which was a welcome change as the other flights were pretty full!
The weather forecast was for a hot day in London, but it wasn’t as bad as expected. We headed for South Kensington where I had arranged to meet up with some colleagues at Imperial College while Mum looked around the museums. Both of us had quite a productive time it would seem!
From there it was on to Heathrow and then the long flight home. On the Singapore – Sydney leg we found we had somehow been upgraded to premium economy which was a welcome change as the other flights were pretty full!
7 September
Cardiff - London
We had the morning to kill so walked from the hotel to Bute Park, next to the castle. We made our way back through the shops and arcades, picked up our bags and went to the train station. This was a bit challenging because Mum’s suitcase handle had decided to stop working. (Better than the wheels not working though...)
Again the train to London was uneventful, as was navigating to Pimlico and finding the hotel (the same one we had stayed at when we first arrived). Our last dinner before heading home: at Nando’s.
We had the morning to kill so walked from the hotel to Bute Park, next to the castle. We made our way back through the shops and arcades, picked up our bags and went to the train station. This was a bit challenging because Mum’s suitcase handle had decided to stop working. (Better than the wheels not working though...)
Again the train to London was uneventful, as was navigating to Pimlico and finding the hotel (the same one we had stayed at when we first arrived). Our last dinner before heading home: at Nando’s.
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